The Authentic Assistant

Email humour. Quotes to help you look at emails in a different way. Inspirational quotes.

We deal with emails everyday. Some cannot remember a time before them. Sometimes a little email humour can go a long way.

Was it simpler and less stressful? 

There are many different types of emails we all receive. From private to work and all kinds in between. This includes spam, phishing, unsolicited and the new types of junk mail that flood your inbox. 

Did I really win that lotto? 

Just how many places have I subscribed to?

Why am I getting these kinds of scam emails and why do they not stop?

Some emails are eagerly anticipated and received and it can also be such a relief to send an email that you have been procrastinating over for a while. Hitting that send button can be exhilarating.

Yes! The responsibility is passed on to the next relevant person. You hope that issue has now been resolved and believe that is the last of it, until a reply arrives with more information or not even replying to your request.

Did they even read your email? 

Start looking for the humour in emails

Here is a collection of some funny email quotes. Some of these are even inspirational and others just make you smile. 

The next time you see one of “those” emails in your inbox you can think of the funny quote you read here and smile. There can be humour in you email inbox.

“How to write a good email: 1. Write your email. 2. Delete most of it. 3. Send” – Dan Munz


“Reaching the inbox isn’t your goal – engaging people is” – Matt Blumberg


“Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry.”


“Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.” – Jeff Pesis


“Treat your subject line like the movie trailer – give a preview so they know what to expect.”


“Personalisation – it is not about first/last name. It’s about relevant content.” – Dan Jak


“Quality over quantity – Emails may be cost efficient but it’s no excuse to not produce quality content to give to a targeted audience.” – Benjamin Murray


“The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord.”


“Email is familiar. It’s comfortable. It’s easy to use. But it might just be the biggest killer of time and productivity in the office today.” – Ryan Holmes


“The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.” – Sydney J. Harris


“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.” – Isaac Asimov


“Make the customer the hero of your story.” – Ann Handley


Funny quotes about emails to make you smile

“Technology makes it possible for people to gain control over everything, except over technology.” – John Tudor


“There is no formula for the perfect email – Authentic and honest is the best.”

“Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done. ” – Andy Rooney


“You can spend hours editing an email but send it as if you wrote it in a minute.” – Sally Rooney


“Email is here to stay – it’s time we got better at using it.” – Shiva Ayyadurai


“People live too much of their lives on email or the Internet or text messages these days. We’re losing all of our communication skills.” – Tracy Morgan


“I want to do business with a company that treats emailing me as a privilege, not a transaction.” – Andrea Mignolo


“To get the right message to the right person at the right time you first need to get the right data to the right database at the right time.” – John Caldwell


“Use low commitment CTAs. Emails are invites, landing pages are parties” – Matt Byrd


Email quotes to make you think

“If Social Media is the cocktail party, then email marketing is the ‘meet up for coffee’. The original 1 to 1 channel.” – Erik Harbison


“When you have written your headline, you have spent eighty cents out of your dollar.” – David Ogilvy


“Email is a push channel, so we need to push it to work harder” – Kath Pay


“To not have an email address is the digital equivalent of being homeless. Without it you can’t shop online, bank online or engage with social media.” – Dela Quist


“On average, 8 out of 10 people will read your headline copy, but only 2 out 10 will read the rest.” – Brian Clark


“The best marketing doesn’t feel like marketing.” – Tom Fishburne


“Customer Loyalty is mostly about choosing the right customers.” – John Jantsch


“Reaching the inbox isn’t your goal – engaging people is” – Matt Blumberg


People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it” – Simon Sinek